Vintage Halloween Witch on Broomstick Greeting Card, Early 1900s

Against a murky grey sky dotted with unmistakably phallic dark rock formations, this witch—dressed in a flowing red cape and matching pointed hat—appears to have spent 52 weeks in witness protection and is making her one chaotic jailbreak on Halloween night, streaking dramatically across the canvas. The accompanying verse, rendered in a swooping cursive font that practically screams 'I failed calligraphy but make it spooky,' has her cheerfully announcing she's been hiding and is now steering her broomstick 'northward,' which, honey, given your trajectory, is optimistic at best. The whole card radiates the energy of a medieval HR department's attempt at a fun workplace holiday memo.