Victorian Valentine Girl with Heart Umbrella Love Greeting Card

With an expression of serene acceptance, she stands dressed head-to-toe in matching blue satin — bonnet, dress, knee socks, and shoes, because this child commits — in a literal downpour of red hearts while holding a dark green umbrella from which additional hearts dangle like the world's most emotionally aggressive wind chimes. In her other hand she clutches a single brown heart-shaped object, presumably as a keepsake or perhaps a trophy from a previous victim. The text 'To the One I Love' is signed in loopy cursive by someone named 'Donna,' which means Donna once looked at this image of a small child drowning in cardiac weather and thought, yes, this captures my feelings exactly. Victorian romance: where 'I love you' and 'I have constructed a heart-based weather system in your honor' were considered equivalent gestures.